Betrayal

 Betrayal is a funny thing--and not in the "ha ha" way.  It comes in all kinds of forms--unkind words, stolen items, wavering loyalty, and even a catchy song in the well-known musical The Producers. 

I have had betrayals throughout my life, but thankfully they have been fairly "mild" by most standards. I have not been captured by enemies, tied to a chair in some harshly-lit warehouse, only to find out that my best friend gave me away. I have not found out something nefarious about a partner which throws me unwittingly into a life of crime. I have not, to my knowledge, gotten close to someone only to find out their whole identitiy is a lie. No, my betrayals were not that cinematic. Some, even, took time and well-placed epiphanies for me to even discover they were, in fact, betrayals.

For those like me that, despite evidence far to the contrary, still want to believe that the people they care about share the same desire to be there for their friends/family as they do, reality is not always the truth we hope for. Sometimes these oversights are unintentional and easily forgiven. And sometimes we realize that people we keep near and dear to our hearts make big mistakes. Possibly life-altering mistakes. Selfish mistakes. Mistakes that have consequences. Consequences that involve midnight phone calls in panicked tones. Apologies, reassurances, and offers of respite are given with pep talks forced out through the knot in your throat.

"It's ok. You will get through this."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"How could he do this?"
"This just doesn't make sense."
"You take care of you. I will be fine."

Sometimes your people cannot be there for you physically, and that is ok. Sometimes they have dire things that need to be sorted, that cannot be ignored, and that require their attention. Even if it is important to you, you can understand when these things happen.

Until--I humbly say as a completely falwed and impfect being--you find out you were lied to. Sometimes you discover that people get caught in a spiral, and they take you with them. Sometimes you find out that, no matter how much you have been through together, people will lie directly to you like it is nothing--and keep the fire of that lie lit until they mistakenly snuff it out, not even noticing what they have done. Betrayal can sometimes take the form of attempting to save face while completely damning oneself in the process.

In the most difficult times in life, I have been shed the most light onto who people truly are and the choices they make. As Kermit says, "life is a series of meetings and partings," and I think I have learned so much more in the partings than in the meetings. "The partings" is where I have learned of motives, deceits, and --in some cases--of the loyalty. It says a lot about someone in the way that they deal with the consequences of their decision--and even more when their method is more deceit.

It says the most about someone, I humbly say as a completely flawed and imperfect being, when those left in the ashes and rubble of betrayal do not seem to get a second thought. 

Reality is not always the truth we hope for, and, in the always profound words of a phenomenal woman, "if someone shows you who they are, believe them..."