You look tired. You look stressed
"You look tired."
"You look stressed."
🐦
These words were uttered twice in one week right in my general direction. I'd rather they farted. They were followed then by "rough week?" and my favorite, "you look like you're ready for a fight."
Maybe I am, Skipper...want to be next on my list?
Just in case it is not well-known, the last thing anyone that is tired or stressed wants to hear is that they look as such. This type of comment is only acceptable if you are holding something to help combat that stress or exhaustion. You may not think this is a harmless comment, you may think you are being sincere. But, in reality, you are merely calling attention to something that we are already aware of, and something that we do not want to be.
Do people ever stop and think before they point out the obvious that maybe there are reasons behind the disheveled look and the slumped shoulders? Maybe it is temporary....a bad night's sleep or a particularly busy weekend...or maybe it is a semi-permanent state that we now find ourselves in. Maybe we are in a profession that requires us to make, I don't know, about 1500 last-minute decisions a day. Maybe we have had to deal with less-than-pleasant people or less-than-pleasant circumstances. Maybe there is a lot going on in our lives that we cannot talk about. Maybe we have a kid that will not sleep or a sick animal we are having to nurse. Maybe it is our busiest season, or we are embarking on a new adventure that is taking a lot of energy. There are probably a million different reasons for a person to be tired or have stress about in his or her respective lives, and each one is valid. However, what they are not, is anyone's business to ask about or comment on, especially if that is all you are going to do. Because no matter what sugary-sweet falsely genuine tone you want to put on "Aww you look tired" or "You look stressed," the fact is that is nothing more than a comment on how you are not looking or acting 100%. And guess what? Everyone is allowed to do that. Everyone is allowed to have down moments and not be okay 24/7, 365. But they really don't need attention called to it.
How about asking if they are ok instead? Asking if they need anything. Ask them how their week has been instead of commenting that it looks like it's been a rough one. Just simply ask how things are going. Or maybe just simply show them an act of kindness or a sincere smile. Something to tell them you give a crap about more than a comment to bring them further down. People may not even realize they are doing it, but that is what education and awareness is all about. And keep in mind, like Thumper always says, if you can't say something nice don't say it at all.
