Going to the Chapel...on our own Time!
I have been dating the same man for three years. I fully believe that he is my partner and I wish it to be so forever. However, some well-meaning (and sometimes just plain nosey) people in mine and his life have made it plainly clear that we should be married by now. Or that we waste time by not being married yet. I am not angry at them by any means because, as I have said before, they are mostly well-meaning and just probably know what we know too...that it is bound to happen one day. And they want us to be happy. I know that. That doesn't mean that we don't tire of it, or that we do not feel the pressure at times.
I have a friend that has been married for a few years. She and her husband have been through a lot together and I know beyond a doubt (as I always have) that she is an infinitely strong woman. And, while I have accused her at times of living in a Taylor Swift song (she can be quite the romantic), she gives great relationship advice. I was asking her once is her and her husband got these questions as well, and she assured me that they often did. Then she told me that once they got married, people started almost immediately asking when they were going to have children. She assumes that if and when they have a child, people will ask if they are going to have any more. As she puts it, the cycle is far from over.
My question for the time being is...is this a pattern that exists only south of the Mason-Dixon line, or is it simply more prominent here? Or, still yet, is it just where society in general has come to? It seems to me that society definitely has become a creature of impatience. We live in a world where everything must be instantly uploaded and living in the moment is replaced by phone cameras and which photo will look best on Instagram. We live in a society where the perception of something is more important that the truth of it. The milestone of being proposed to, or any other life event for that matter, holds value by how quickly it can be posted on Facebook to hoard all the likes and comments it can. We worry which angle of the photo will get our perfect nails AND the engagement ring in instead of just sharing exciting news with as many friends and family as possible.
The question, however, also proposes whether or not this is more prominent in the South. Is a woman's worth STILL partially bestowed by if she can get married and have children before a certain age? Is the validity of a relationship partially held in if it follows some sort of predetermined timeline? Is there a set of unwritten rules that us new Southern women did not get a copy of, mapped out by generations of belles and beaus that came before us?
I've never been very interested in following stereotypes.
