Heavy on my Heart and Fresh on my Mind

I have searched for many methods of subtlety to express myself on something that is bothering me. I was going to cloak it in metaphors and cleverly disguise it so that no one could pinpoint for sure what exactly I was speaking of. However, the problem is I have never been the queen of subtlety.  Sure, I am language-savvy enough to use flowery words and witty turn-of-phrase when necessary,  but my blunt personality and journalistic impatience eventually overrule and gets down to brass tax.

That is why it had been difficult for me through this particular situation.  It requires finesse.  It requires planning and timing and "going about things the right way."  This is a very important thing in delicate situations.   However,  as my grandmother has so eloquently put it,  I can be the "barrell-ass into stuff and ask questions later" type.

So, on to the matter at hand. I was very involved in a certain program when I was in high school and have continued to be involved with a certain aspect of that program and the kids in it.  Up until recent years, this program was something that was respected and appreciated all over the state.  Now, it is becoming a joke.  This moniker, I'm sorry to say, is due to the person that is supposedly in in charge of it.  And, since neither the person in charge of it nor the person now reading this post may quite understand the significance of this program, allow me to enlighten.

This particular program has provided  so many student with opportunities since its establishment.  Those that become involved with it learn responsibility, life skills, and how to contribute to one of the biggest industries in this area, maybe without even realizing they are learning things so valuable.  They may also learn skills that will help them deal with the public in the future, not to mention allowing them to make friends and connections that they might not be able to make otherwise. It is an opportunity for those kids that have a passion for the industry, and opportunities for those students that may need a place where they can fit in.  The other thing this program provides is opportunities for those that may not be in pursuit of higher education.  In high school, there are those classes that prepare you for college or a higher education setting.  However, not all students will be on that path, and there is nothing wrong with that.  Therefore, it is important to provide classes to teach those students skills they may use later in life as well.  This program does that. It provides classes that could potentially really teach and nurture students learning a vocational skill that will in turn help them to find a job or introduce them to a career.  At the very least, it teaches them a useful life skill.  That is why it is so important for this program to be well taken care of.  That is why this program is so dear to my heart.  I, like so many others, saw this program foster and nurture my love for part of its well-rounded industry.  It helped me become more confident in myself and has helped make me the person I am today, and also helped create and cultivate relationships and friendships that I still hold dear today.  I learned things through it that helped me not only in higher education but in my everyday life.  This program celebrates all sorts of talents and abilities and I know that if it had simply been maintained, it could have done a lot of things for a lot of students like it did for me and people I know.  However, sadly, it was not.

There are times when none of us act our ages.  We all occasionally revert back to our teenage selves, and we all have those face-palm moments.  However, that is not a place we should stake a claim on and settle into.  However, that seems to be the case in this particular situation.  It is what my History teacher used to call "cranal rectalitis." A job requires someone to know when to be professional, especially when that job encompasses trying to teach others how to be productive members of society.  I am at a loss for understanding how someone expects to be a leader when they act no differently, and in some cases act worse, than the ones that should be leading.  I am also at a loss for how someone can call themselves a leader when they refuse to do just that by denying responsibility for themselves, or still yet when they scoff at helpful advice from people that might be more experienced in that area.  It says a lot about the character of a person when they provided with sound constructive advice bu multiple experienced people and they continuously do the exact opposite. 

Finally, how can someone teach those that do not respect them?  After all, if any of us want respect, must we not be first be the kind of person that deserves and commands it?  This does not mean being a bully, nor does it mean being a buddy.  If there isn't some level of mutual respect, then there is no engagement.  If there is no engagement, then things become destructive because there is no respect of property nor of rules.  Then, bad things happen and people get hurt.  If someone is not respected, then how can they expect anyone to voluntarily do what they are asked to do?  Better yet, how can it be expected for anyone to feel physically or emotionally safe?  If someone is not behaving like a leader, then they foster no respect and no trust.  If the one supposedly being lead do not see any stability in their so-called leader, then how can they feel safe? How can they take anything seriously?  When respect is not shown by someone in authority, it is not shown to them either.  There is so much to be said for leading by example.

That is why this post is titled as it is.  This issue is not only heavy on my heart because of my connection, but it is fresh on my mind.  I try to put it behind me, but I am now being reminded almost daily of something new that makes my blood start to boil.